Patience and I have been like oil and water lately; the hardest part is accepting His grace for the countless imperfections I see in myself, and trusting that He will turn my "not enough" into more than enough. Because the truth is, I'm just not ok with not being ok. In my pride I want to be perfect--I want to have the perfect day, the perfect response, the perfect children, the perfect home. And yet, perfection eludes me, and I am left wanting. So rather than letting that longing turn me to the One who is perfect, I've allowed it to bury me in guilt, in shame, in frustration and condemnation.
So what should I do? The last sip of my tea is cold, and my daughter still screams in her room. The afternoon lies long before me. I can't do it, not without Him. And maybe that's the point...
"If you are drawing close to God, you will become increasingly sensitive to sin, which is inevitable since the God you are approaching is a holy God."
- James Boice
Perhaps boasting in our weaknesses truly does open our eyes to Christ within us, like broken windows letting in the light. "For when I am weak, then I am strong."
- Revelation: Brokenness can be a pathway to God, and to humility: It is pride, plain and simple, that motivates us to desire self-sufficiency and ultimately the omnipotence that belongs to God alone.
- Response: How can you let the hard, the messy, the less-than-perfect draw your heart nearer to His presence?
- Result: The Lord told Paul, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." When we allow God's grace to seep into the cracks in our hearts, His power manifests and He works through our weaknesses to His glory.