The bouquet rests in a glass vase, its lilies long since dried, the baby's breath brittle, the indigo shriveled. Next to it sits a flowery photo album whose pictures have begun to fade, and a white porcelain picture frame, the young couple within beaming ear to ear as they cut in unison an elegant tiered cake.
The butterflies of the wedding day have settled. The shoots of first love have deepened their roots and flourished, blossoming into the fruits of experience, knowledge, and unity. And though my husband and I do not always feel those giddy thrills we did at first, they have given way to a deeper, stronger relationship. Time and commitment have together forged something far more precious than a shallow, passing fling.
After comforting the apostle John from the shock of His glorious appearance, Christ begins dictating His letters to the seven churches, beginning with the church in Ephesus. Jesus starts by commending the Ephesian church, saying, "I know your works, your toil and your patient endurance, and how you cannot bear with those who are evil, but have tested those who call themselves apostles and are not, and found them to be false. I know you are enduring patiently and bearing up for My name's sake, and you have not grown weary" (Rev. 2:2–3).
This church was active, hard-working, and doctrinally pure. They held their ground in the midst of trials and troubles, and maintained their vitality. By all appearances this church was rock solid.
Yet despite all these commendable qualities, Jesus has some sobering words of conviction: "But I have this against you, that you have abandoned the love you had at first" (v. 4). The church in Ephesus had a big problem. In all their works, all their perseverance, all their guarding of the truth, they had left behind Jesus' most important command: Love God with all that you are, and love others as yourself (Lk. 10:27).
It wasn't wrong for the Ephesian Christians to do good works; Scripture tells us God has planned such things for us that we may walk in them (Eph. 2:10). It wasn't wrong for them to remain uncompromisingly steadfast in the work of the Lord, to bear up in the face of hardship, or to discern and protect against false teaching; God commands us to do all these things (1 Cor. 15:58; Rom. 12:12; 1 Jn. 4:1)! The problem was that they had allowed their focus on works and doctrine to eclipse their love relationship with Christ.
Like a married couple whose initial excitement failed to mature into a deeper love, so the Ephesian church had grown cold in their faith. Mechanical. They had the look of a church walking with Jesus, but no heart. We can find ourselves in a similar place—a place where faith has become routine, forced, even joyless. Could be you're stuck in that place right now... Thankfully Jesus doesn't condemn us (Rom. 8:1), but exhorts us with a command: Remember and repent (Rev. 2:5).
Jesus wants us to remember what it was like when we first fell in love with Him! When we were 'newlyweds' in Christ. "Do the things you did at first," He says. Like newlyweds who can't get enough of each other, we should want to spend time with Jesus—both privately and in corporate worship. For the newly married couple, being away from their loved one leaves them counting the minutes until they're together again. This is the kind of close, intimate relationship our Lord desires to have with us—a relationship where absence makes the heart grow fonder, not forgetful.
Newlyweds also learn about each other so they can express their love in more meaningful ways. What's his favorite song? How does she take her coffee? Would he prefer a hike? Does she like romantic restaurants? If we want our love for Jesus to be expressed meaningfully, then we need to learn about Him through His Word. Are we reading our Bibles as a chore? Or as the means by which we know and draw nearer to the Lover of our souls? Does the Word ignite a flame in our hearts to please our gracious Savior? Or does it cause us to run and hide because we're too focused on 'works' and 'rules'?
Finally, new couples who are learning how to do life together communicate often. They leave cute voicemails or little notes. They share their hearts, discuss their days, and sometimes talk until the wee hours of the morning. They call just to hear their beloved's voice. When's the last time we talked to Jesus openly and honestly? Joyfully? Tearfully? Passionately? When's the last time we truly laid bare our hearts before the Lord? Jesus wants to hear from us in prayer; it pleases Him (Ps. 141:2)! And He is waiting to speak into our lives if we will but make the time to listen.
Jesus ends His letter to the Ephesians with a warning and an encouragement. He says, "...I will come to you and remove your lampstand from its place, unless you repent" (v. 5), and, "To the one who conquers I will grant to eat of the tree of life, which is in the paradise of God" (v. 7). The Ephesian church was in danger of being removed from its place in the presence of Jesus! As Christians, to lose love is to lose all. It is clear from Jesus' warning that we have no business calling ourselves Jesus' church if we do not embody His love.
But to those who overcome coldness of heart and lack of love, to those whose love for Christ matures and grows deeper, to those who stay committed and steadfast, Jesus promises relational restoration. A return to Eden in the sense of our unhindered access to the Lord Himself. Imagine! An eternity in His glorious presence! An eternity as the bride of the Lamb, in a paradise where our love will never fade, never wither, and never grow cold!
Lord, thank You that above all else You desire a relationship with me—a relationship rooted in love! I pray You would refresh my faith and renew my love for You as at the first. Help me have the desire to spend time with You, to be in Your Word, and to seek You in prayer. May the good works, steadfast endurance, and ongoing purification You have for me always be anchored in love. Keep me from coldness of heart, Lord! May my heart be ever-burning for You—my Beloved, my Savior, my King! In Jesus' name, amen.
Reflection Questions
- Read Ephesians 2:8–10 and 3:16–19. Why do you think Paul addressed the topic of salvation by grace through faith in conjunction with good works? Why is understanding both grace and God's love vitally important for believers?
- Think back to when you first became a Christian. What was your relationship with Jesus like? What sort of things did you do? Did you read your Bible, pray, and talk to others about Jesus more than you do now?
- Read Ephesians 4:2. What role does humility play in maintaining a deep love relationship with Christ and others?